The Stories of DTS

Binky Cold Turkey

Kids are tough to figure out.  After nearly two and a half years of pacifier dependence my son swore them off.  Like a junky whose methadone treatments were successful, Sebastian no longer needs his fix.  For the past several months we've discouraged his binky use when he's not napping or going to bed for the night.  But, when it was time for bed, he was adamant that he have at least three binkies (usually he'd go so far as insist on specific colors) with him.  He liked one for use and two backups nearby.  That was his schtick.  Until last night.

We tucked Seb in and rattled off Twinkle Twinkle Little Star as is our custom.  Before we left he handed me two of his binkies and said "daddy, you put in dishwasher please?"  Surprised, I said I'd be happy to.  We left.  About ten seconds later he called for me, so I returned thinking he wanted them back.  Instead, he removed the binky from his mouth and offered it up, basically saying "today I am a man."  I took it and that was that -- he's said nothing about them since (I'm not saying he might not have a relapse...).  What triggered this behavior?  Binkies Anonymous meetings?  Perhaps that's what he and his friends talk about.  Who knows?  Little of what he does makes sense to me, and that's one of my favorite things about kids.

Blowhards

The problem with blowhards is they are constantly talking and some of what they say comes out stupid.  If they're lucky, NFL Films will catch it and broadcast it to the world.  If they've killed a guy, nobody will ever tell them it's stupid.  Ray Lewis is one of my least favorite athletes.  It's not because he talks a lot or is supremely cocky, it's because he so often says stupid shit and it gets treated as gospel. He thinks he's cool because nobody's got the balls to tell him he's a punk.  Everytime ESPN comes to town they worship at the Ray Lewis Shrine, mike him up, stroke his enormous ego....  Tonight during halftime of the Rams game, ABC showed some NFL Films footage from practices around the NFL.  Ray Lewis, a fantastic football player of course, easily deked out a fullback and got to the fake QB, which of course starts him talking: 

"That's too easy son, too easy.  That's like taking my kids Christmas shopping:  too easy." 

That's an uncool analogy.  That's a nonsensical analogy.  That's a wussy analogy.  Yet, I'm sure once he said it his teammates patted him on the back and congratulated him on his biting wit ("aw shit, Christmas shopping!  I wish I'd thought of that.")  ABC execs rushed to shake his hand.  His coaches lined up to give him gatorade and towel him off.  It's infuriating.  The guy is not smart.  The guy can't shut up.  The guy is not interesting.  Yet, if you're a football fan, you are constantly barraged with his idiocy. 

Anchorman

The first time I saw Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy I was disappointed.  I'd heard good things and expected good things, but I thought the movie started out poorly and consisted of nothing more than some good scenes.  Later, a friend and I discussed how the movie failed to live up to our expectations, but then something magical happened:  we started throwing out Anchorman lines ("When in Rome...", "I'm going to punch you in the ovary," "I killed a guy with a trident.")  The lines kept coming and coming.  I went back and watched the movie again, and then again, and then one more time.  This movie is now one of my favorites.  How did this happen?

Quick Thought...

Just a quick thought while trying to figure out what became of my Anchorman post...

Will Chrysler be able to attribute any car sales to the Lee Iacocca/Snoop Dogg commercial?  Who thought that was a good idea?  It's no wonder American car makers are struggling.

12-Year-Old DTS

It’s kind of unsettling getting an unexpected peek into the retro-mirror.  I was minding my own business one day last week when my wife called to tell me she’d unearthed my 7th grade poetry project -- poems written by yours truly 21 long years ago.  A raw and unedited look at who I was.  Before I reveal a few of the poems, the 12-year-old DTS insists that I mention he got an "A."  Further, I would be remiss if I did not quote the teacher's commentary from the front page:

I really enjoyed this: it's thoughtful, sensitive, direct.  Save it and look at it years from now -- as you once were as a little 7th grader -- and how you have added even more wonderful things to yourself.

(I actually was a little 7th grader -- one of the shortest in the class.)  Let's see if I've added any more wonderful things, shall we?

Inside the Sprint Center

The designs of KC's new arena, exterior and interior, have been revealed.  Not surprisingly, it looks awesome -- artists and computers can make anything look incredible.  Whether it is the panacea for downtown development remains to be seen.  For the sake of the city, I'm skeptical.  Personally, I'm just excited that my adopted home town will have a cool new arena to house sporting events.  I like sporting events.  I like cool new places.  Match made in heaven.  Take a look:

The Sprint Center 

FEAST Review

Ah, some Project Greenlight news.  It's been months since the last episode, so it's good to hear something about the show and the movie it created.  Just a little morsel to feed my obsession, but I'll take it.

According to Ain't it Cool News FEAST was recently screened (test screened?).  They file the following for our consumption: FEAST Review.  It's nice to see John Gulager get some praise after a rough season of playing Mushmouth -- maybe he has a future out there.

* Thanks to JT for passing this item along to me.

My Blockbuster Queue

It's time for another installment of My Blockbuster Queue where I rank and discuss the movies I've rented and enjoyed (or otherwise).  This edition promises to be uninspired, much like the movies ranked below.  Mired in mediocrity.  Overwhelmingly average.   In fact, five of the movies I ranked in the last installment would have been first up against these.  That's not to say that a few of the movies below weren't pretty good -- just that nothing came close to knocking my socks off.  So, like always, from worst to first:

10.  The Terminal.  Just thinking about this movie makes me ill.  Tedious and then some. 

Walken for President

Whether it happens or not, you've got to love the idea of Christopher Walken running for president.

Walken for President

UPDATE (August 17):  As jt points out in the comments, this is a hoax.  It's a rare day when I act on something before Snopes does (I "snopes" everything), but today Snopes added a page about Walken running for President:  Snopes on Walken

Dia De Los Muertos, by Kent Harrington

Raw, dark, urgent, and trippy; it takes just those four words to describe this book.  I could end this now, but I feel obligated to write a few more words praising Harrington for giving me such a good time.  The story is told in the span of 24 hours, on the Day of the Dead appropriately enough, in Tijuana.  The hero, a crooked DEA Agent, is suffering from dengue fever making his every action ooze with urgency.  Act now, die later.