I am now certain that the lawsuit against MLB for requiring the Astros to open the roof in Minute Maid for the World Series is not a hoax. Instead, it's a publicity stunt perpetrated by a personal injury lawyer. Lisa Sechelski is a partner at the Ogletree Abbott firm in Houston. It's the kind of firm that solicits people who don't realize they're injured -- "have you taken XXX drug in the last 5 years? If so, you may be entitled to a large amount of cold hard cash." Here is the firm's take on roof lawsuit. These firms make lawyers look like money grubbing whores, but they give the downtrodden somewhere to go when they've actually been wronged. And, this particular firm knows an opportunity when it sees one.
As I've written, the Astros have this irrational belief that the roof helps them win games. The Astros, down 2-0 going into Game 3, wanted the roof closed but MLB intervened. The Astros lost a tough game in extra innings. Houston citizens were pissed and along comes Ms. Sechelski with her crackpot idea to exact revenge on MLB for throwing the series to the White Sox. Houstonians see the article, think "you're damn right, those Yankee bastards can't tell us what to do!" and remember Ms. Sechelski's name the next time they've been wronged. You gotta make a living, I suppose.
Speaking of which, while in Colorado Springs and watching Cops! at 3:45 in the afternoon (yes, that's what I do on vacation) I saw a brilliant lawyer commercial. I can't remember the lawyer or law firm's name and Google has failed me, but it featured a wild-eyed man who looked and sounded like Crazy Eddie selling hi-fis and slashing prices. He's caa-RAAA-zeee! He was touting his firm's record in getting settlements for car accidents. After he made his chaotic pitch, the commercial turned to satisfied customers: "[Lawyer] turned this [show picture of wrecked car] into $80,000 [show fake check]," and then a dollar amount graphic raced across the screen accompanied by a cash register's "ka-ching!" Five or six testimonials with happy people showing their beat up cars and then their big dollar pay-offs. Such lucky people!! For a brief moment I thought it'd be cool to get in an accident while in Colorado Springs so I could also get paid. You know, get what's coming to me.
I don't have a big problem with these tactics -- they're sleazy, misleading, and border on crooked, but there's a market for such things and it's far from me to condemn someone for serving that market. That's my micro-view. My macro-view is that these lawyers enable and encourage the "something for nothing" mentality that is so prevalent in society. I didn't finish that sentence with "these days" because I'm sure these people have always been around. And they've been loud and obnoxious and lazy and scheme and dream for the big payoff. And, hell, I'd like something for nothing too, so it's not like I can't relate to a certain extent. Still, I see these lawyers and their clients and think "I am so much better than them." Isn't that terrible? And I don't just mean professionally or socially, I mean in every way imaginable. It doesn't make me feel good, but it's there.
Luckily, Cops! came back on featuring a mom who wanted to press charges against her 15 year old daughter for biting her. Yes, they lived in a trailer park. Yes, they were fat. Yes, the guy who introduced himself to the officer as "kind of the step-dad" was creepy and had a lazy eye. Do they know they're a cliche? Are they okay with that? Why am I watching this? Oh, cool, the mom's got a big stick and is charging the hand-cuffed daughter. Nice.
End of rambling post. Please return to your productive lives.