The Stories of DTS

You Should Listen to your Mother

Twenty or so years ago my mother said to me "son, you should read the Fletch books."  I didn't.  I don't know why -- I loved the movie Fletch and generally enjoyed the books my mom recommended.  But, I guess I chose this refusal as my way to rebel.  And rebel I did!  I did not read Gregory Mcdonald's Fletch series until now, as a thirty-four year old who has sown his wild oats.  And, oh what wild oats they were!  I was freaking crazy.

I was hanging out at 1/2 Price Books trying to save a buck when I happened by the "M" section of the old paperbacks.  The Fletch books called out to me and I finally gave in.  One of the great things about buying old books at this store is that they really stick to the 1/2 price idea.  Back in the '70s and '80s these books were going for $3.50, so I walked out of there paying just $1.75 each.  I bought the only three they had (while the stories are the same, I did not buy those sleek reissues shown on the right.  Amazon.com doesn't offer pictures of my copies and I like pictures....).

Kids Love Reservoir Dogs!

Before anyone calls DFS, my wife already told me that I couldn't let our kids watch the movie until they're ten or so.  That's pretty harsh, but I've agreed to obey her wishes (Pulp Fiction comes a little earlier, I think). 

We have several CDs with kids' music, and they must be good because our kids love listening to them.  Recently it got to the point that the boy was demanding Dino-songs every time it was meal-time.  I dreaded those times because that music is so ... I don't know ... insipid.  It makes my head hurt.  I scoured our CD collection to find anything remotely child-appropriate but not so damn stupid.  Surprisingly, the search ended with Reservoir Dogs.

DTS Update...

Whoa, it's been a long time.  Before I disappeared I was getting about 50 hits a day to this here blog where I write of everything and nothing at the same time.  I don't know if that's a lot or a little, but it seemed pretty good to me.   During baseball playoffs, I was seeing about 80 folks here a day.  Then, I vanished like a fart in the wind -- that's what the warden said when Andy Dufresne escaped from Shawshank.  Of course, my disappearance didn't involve Rita Hayworth or a sewer of crap. 

No, I disappeared because my job changed and I got really busy.  A good kind of busy.  Very rewarding.  I was working more which cut into my leisure time, which is what Stories is.  Leisure.  I'm here to fill you in on what I didn't write. 

The Kids

I had a request for more pictures of my kids, and as a full-service request friendly blog, I shall satisfy that request.  In the left margin there are two new albums packed to the gills with photos of Seb and Elena.

Let's see -- Elena's walking now.  She's also shown us the temper that made Seb such a wonderful child to be around.  Good times. 

Speaking of Seb, like a true junkie, he's back on the binky.  Not too often, but sometimes when he's upset he'll say "I need a binky to make the crying go away."  We basically cave.  After all, we want the crying to go away too.

On The Road

I'd like to thank my loyal reader(s) who wondered as to my whereabouts the last week or so.  I was around for a few days but then loaded up the family and headed to Colorado Springs for a little R & R, although I got little first R and did little other R.  So it goes.

We left last Thursday and before that I was running around trying to accomplish everything that would permit me to leave my life for four days, so I didn't write here.  We had planned on flying but with young Sebastian's behavior of late we were dreading it.  I didn't think he could handle all the transitions -- drive to the airport, wait at airport, get on plane, wait on plane, fly on plane, get off plane in Denver, wait for luggage, wait for rental car, drive to Colorado Springs, you get the picture.  Plus, I sort of like to drive long distances. 

More Judd Apatow

Apatow's Tuesday entry in his Slate diary contained a paragraph that I could have written based on an experience I had with young Sebastian:

Then I went to the mall with my almost-3-year-old daughter, Iris, who had such a knipshit (as we used to say)—a total meltdown—that I thought I was going to get arrested by cops who thought that I had kidnapped her. All I did was tell her that we already owned Shrek when she asked if we could buy it. Sometimes that is all it takes. She sat down in the video store and screamed at me, "Get out of the store!" about 50 times. I hid in the store. I thought that if she couldn't see me, she might calm down, or miss me and relax. Then she saw me hiding behind a post and screamed, "Get out of here. Go in the parking lot!!!" I had no choice but to pick up my screaming, Emily Rose-behaving child and carry her through the enormous mall to the car. Since I had to push the stroller, she was held with one arm as she screamed and spit and blew snot on me. One woman saw this and said, "She's 2, right?" And then she smiled, happy not to have a 2-year-old any longer.

Exactly, except the movie was Tarzan II (which isn't very good anyway), and Seb kept screaming "Go away!" and "Get out of here!"  It's always good to read other parents' experiences with an uncontrollable two-year-old.     

TV and the Boy

First, the overnight ratings for Arrested Development were even worse than for the season premier.  Hopefully, Fox will let it finish out the season (or it will somehow become popular).  When a network is finishing 5th though (even behind WB), the outlook is not muy bueno.

Second, many important baseball games on Extra Innings tonight.  At about 8:30 I was flipping between the Yankees, Red Sox, Indians, White Sox, and Cardinals, when I told my 2.5 year old son it was time for bed.  He protested, like always, but this time he said "no, I want to watch baseball!  Please.  Can I?  Can I?"  It was his best move to date, but given that he won't actually watch baseball, I saw through this latest stall tactic.  Instead, we read some books, he went to bed, and I watched baseball.

Happy Birthday Elena!

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Elena
Happy birthday to you.

I can't believe she's already one.  The year has just flown by.  So, what tricks does she know?  She crawls, pulls up, and cruises the furniture.  She can stand on her own for several seconds at a time.  She can chase the cats.  She claps and laughs a lot.  She can battle her brother for toys.  She can and will eat anything.  She says "mmmmm" and makes popping sounds.  She's nearly impossible to change as she twists to escape my clutches, laughing all the while.  She loves to swim.  She's a big Baby Einstein fan.  She gets frustrated when she falls on her butt or can't get her sippy cup to work.  Basically, she's great.  I just can't believe she's already one.

Binky Cold Turkey

Kids are tough to figure out.  After nearly two and a half years of pacifier dependence my son swore them off.  Like a junky whose methadone treatments were successful, Sebastian no longer needs his fix.  For the past several months we've discouraged his binky use when he's not napping or going to bed for the night.  But, when it was time for bed, he was adamant that he have at least three binkies (usually he'd go so far as insist on specific colors) with him.  He liked one for use and two backups nearby.  That was his schtick.  Until last night.

We tucked Seb in and rattled off Twinkle Twinkle Little Star as is our custom.  Before we left he handed me two of his binkies and said "daddy, you put in dishwasher please?"  Surprised, I said I'd be happy to.  We left.  About ten seconds later he called for me, so I returned thinking he wanted them back.  Instead, he removed the binky from his mouth and offered it up, basically saying "today I am a man."  I took it and that was that -- he's said nothing about them since (I'm not saying he might not have a relapse...).  What triggered this behavior?  Binkies Anonymous meetings?  Perhaps that's what he and his friends talk about.  Who knows?  Little of what he does makes sense to me, and that's one of my favorite things about kids.

The Fam

I thought it was time I update the well-being of my family.  All is well.  There, that's done.

I posted a new photo album cleverly titled "More Family," the sequel to the highly acclaimed "Family" photo album.  All the pics are from the last two months.  As you can see, Elena can now achieve the crawling position (under her brother's strict tutelage), but unfortunately for her, she can only crawl backwards.  She's also babbling more and eating Cheerios, so she's making the transition from infant to real person just fine. 

Seb suffers from a hereditary affliction known as Verbal Diarrhea.  Seriously, non-stop talking.  It's great and he is constantly making us laugh.  He's also got a temper, which also makes us laugh.  Nearly everything he does makes us laugh.  Last month he insisted on wearing his fireman hat and his winter boots all the time.  He's a funny kid.